Have the courage to not always be perfect.
and one 10-year-old)
Entrepreneur Sara Hürlimann grew up in Sweden. From a young age, she learned not to make gender-specific distinctions in care giving work. Her parents exemplified an egalitarian relationship, which shaped her understanding of roles. Together with her Swiss husband, she founded and runs several companies. The couple jointly takes care of their five children. A conversation about challengesand expectations one sets for oneself – and about the best baby food.
Mrs. Hürlimann, have you ever faced the decision between career or motherhood?
No. I also find it strange that women are so often asked this question. Today, it’s entirely possible to combine both or to decide on one. Taking care of one’s own children, organizing family life and the household is also a time-consuming job – almost like running a small company. In that sense, I have chosen two jobs: one at home and one in our companies.
A very challenging choice, isn’t it?
As the children get older, of course, it becomes easier to balance both. Over the years, I have become more relaxed. My expectations of myself have changed. I am more forgiving towards myself. I also wish this for young mothers: have the courage to not always be perfect.
Does that mean you forgive yourself more?
Absolutely. For example, there’s an experience that illustrates this well. When the children were very small, I naturally compared myself with other mothers. An important question was: who makes the best puree? It wasn’t me, because I bought ready-made baby food from the supermarket. At first, this was very uncomfortable for me. Maybe I can even say that I was embarrassed. It took a while for that feeling to subside. Today, I think: that was a really sensible and efficient way.
Would you have had this feeling in your home country, Sweden?
I don’t think so. There, the question doesn’t even arise whether a parent should stay at home because in most cases, both have to work. I consider the situation here in Switzerland to be a great privilege: being able to decide what is important to you and to act accordingly. But it is also a dilemma that I have experienced myself. A part of me always wants to be with the children, another part wants to realize myself as a person and woman. I believe that not only presence counts, but children also notice how their mother feels. I would not want to pretend. One is also a role model for the children. Hiding feelings and moods is nonsensical.
You and your husband work together, not only founding a family but also many companies, and have successfully established them in the market. What does it take to complement each other as a couple in the various areas of life?
For me, this is one of the most important decisions one makes in life: with which person do I want to go my way and have children? A family is not just the mother’s project, but both – mine and my husband’s. We have children together, we work together, we run companies together. Of course, we divide the work. For example, he does everyday things that I find boring. I, on the other hand, organize school and leisure activities for our children.
Are there also things that cannot be divided?
Affection and attention. Children rightly expect this from both mother and father. In this respect, I used to feel guilty a bit quicker towards our children than my husband. I believe that sometimes that traditional understanding of roles flashed up. But meanwhile, our children are older, so that now it’s often me who wishes for their attention (laughs).
Do you have enough time for yourself?
No question, this “me time” suffers when you are working and have a family. But I think that this phase is quite short. It lasts as long as the children are very small. That’s when the burden is greatest and you find little time for yourself. But it passes quickly, also thanks to good childcare options. Time with the children is important to me. We have breakfast together every day and try to sit together at the table in the evenings to discuss the day. When the children are out of the house, I will have a lot of time for myself again and catch up on things that are currently neglected. Then I will read a lot again.
How do you generally view the situation of working mothers in Switzerland?
For me, it’s a privilege to be allowed to live here. Our children went to kindergarten alone from home in their second week. That’s not possible everywhere. Nor is the choice to have children or not and whether to work as a parent or not. Therefore, it is particularly important to me that we convey to our children, regardless of gender, the freedom to decide what is right for them.
Are you and your husband role models for your children in this respect?
Having role models is important. They shape and motivate one. I hope our children see us as role models. Especially young people take with them for their later life what they have seen lived by their own parents. If you are taught that you cannot work with children, then you stay at home.
Have you ever experienced others judging you for choosing to be an entrepreneur and a mother?
Yes, but fortunately, I can well ignore what I don’t want to hear. Unfortunately, there is still the prejudice that one cannot be professionally successful and a good mother at the same time. You should not be irritated by the accusations of others. The less you listen to such things, the more satisfied you are in life.
What do you wish for your daughters when they grow up?
That they, just like the boys, find a task that they enjoy doing. You don’t have to find your passion, I think that’s exaggerated. But you have the chance to become really good at it if you enjoy doing something. That’s a good basis for not being financially dependent on others and for standing on your own two feet. From my point of view, this is extremely important – especially for one’s own satisfaction.
“Taking care of one’s own children, organizing family life and the household is also a time-consuming job – almost like running a small company. In that sense, I have chosen two jobs: one at home and one in our companies.”